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Ed's loves his guns...

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Category: Everything Else
Forum Name: The Ed Show
Forum Description: What's going on in Ed's world?
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Topic: Ed's loves his guns...
Posted By: budperm
Subject: Ed's loves his guns...
Date Posted: October/12/2012 at 06:03

The Dead Parrot

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Ed? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."


"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Ed, that your parrot, he is dead.

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Ed."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Ed."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Ed, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Ed."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Ed."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Ed. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom-made Wenig Exhibition Grade Stock. "

SILENCE...........


LONG SILENCE.........


VERY LONG SILENCE..............

"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep sh*t."

 



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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson






Replies:
Posted By: Dogger
Date Posted: October/12/2012 at 06:08
Priorities Ed, priorities..........

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God save the Empire!


Posted By: bugsNbows
Date Posted: October/12/2012 at 06:59
LOL. Bud, you've outdone yourself!!!  Excellent

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If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous


Posted By: 3_tens
Date Posted: October/12/2012 at 09:25
At least ED has his priorities right.

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Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: October/12/2012 at 09:28
Lile the wife still rubbing it in, huh?  Laugh

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: lucytuma
Date Posted: October/12/2012 at 12:11
LaughLove it!

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"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." - Thomas Jefferson


Posted By: Alan Robertson
Date Posted: October/12/2012 at 16:14


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"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/12/2012 at 22:16
                                   
                                              Baseball Bat

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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: October/13/2012 at 07:33
Oh don't be playing....MAD... you know your laughing..and it's true!  Smile

-------------
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: 3_tens
Date Posted: October/13/2012 at 07:57
Ed's still upset over the parrot.  Shocked

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Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.


Posted By: stickbow46
Date Posted: October/13/2012 at 13:51
Ernesto,that name is very familiar!   Good one BudExcellent

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Pearls of Wisdom are Heard not Spoken


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/14/2012 at 10:41
 
 
 
 
" Thank God it's okay....."        Whew Smiley
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: magshooter1
Date Posted: October/15/2012 at 08:22
True Story:  After my grandfather passed away we were at his house getting his shotguns to carry to our house.  I was coming down the stairs with a Browning Sweet 16 that had been shot less than 25 times.  I slipped and fell and went down the stairs on my back, shotgun in one hand and a box of shells in the other.  When I stopped a the bottom the first thing I heard was my father saying "that shotgun better not be hurt!"

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It's not the size of the campfire; it's the quality of the company.


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: October/15/2012 at 08:38
Well your here so I guess it was okay.... Cool

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/15/2012 at 09:31
Originally posted by magshooter1 magshooter1 wrote:

True Story:  After my grandfather passed away we were at his house getting his shotguns to carry to our house.  I was coming down the stairs with a Browning Sweet 16 that had been shot less than 25 times.  I slipped and fell and went down the stairs on my back, shotgun in one hand and a box of shells in the other.  When I stopped a the bottom the first thing I heard was my father saying "that shotgun better ot be hurt!"
 
 
 
                                                          Big Grin


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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: October/15/2012 at 09:36
Ed, was your FATHER?!?!?!??!  Bucky

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: magshooter1
Date Posted: October/16/2012 at 07:28
No, I am a son of Sam.  Wink  And yes, the shotgun was fine, obviously.  Dad, by the way, is still formidable; last year at 89 he killed a 8 pt. and a 10 pt. with his faithful .270 rem. pump.

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It's not the size of the campfire; it's the quality of the company.



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