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Dear Ed....

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Category: Everything Else
Forum Name: The Ed Show
Forum Description: What's going on in Ed's world?
URL: http://www.opticstalk.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=38603
Printed Date: January/23/2020 at 20:20
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Topic: Dear Ed....
Posted By: cheaptrick
Subject: Dear Ed....
Date Posted: October/05/2013 at 14:24
Do we still have to pay Federal taxes during a shut down??

Signed,
Concerned Taxpayer.




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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.



Replies:
Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/05/2013 at 14:31
 

" Dear Cheap-(skate), 

No, because the IRS is closed and only taxes that are automatically taken from your paycheck by your employer will be collected for the moment. But, do not go on a spending spree, because, eventually, Obama will want all that tax money in his grubby little piggy bank.  "












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Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: October/05/2013 at 15:03
Dear Ed....

I have a fungus and can't seem to be rid of it. It's driving me CRAZY!! 

Please help.

Signed,
Itchy In Indy 


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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/05/2013 at 15:22
 


" 100 grit sandpaper."  








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Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: October/05/2013 at 15:25
Laugh

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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/05/2013 at 15:32
 













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Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: October/06/2013 at 13:58
Dear Ed...

I'm a man of slight build and mild manner. I weigh 132 and 1/2 pounds wet and am scared of my own shadow. I've been beat on, beat down, (sometimes by members of the opposite sex) and am wanting to start sticking up for myself.

I've looked on the intra webs and found Diemon Dave's Ninja School. This just might be what the doctor ordered. The price is pretty cheap, as Diemon Dave will take food stamps and government cheese for payment. 

Does this look like something that will help me find my manhood? 

Thanks in advance.
Slim Ninja

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2U-ZQMf56I - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2U-ZQMf56I


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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/06/2013 at 14:48


" Maybe, but only if you wear cool underwear. "   








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Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/06/2013 at 14:54














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Posted By: mike650
Date Posted: October/06/2013 at 16:16
Dear Ed,

as a newlywed, can one find any truth in the statement below?

In anticipation of your valued response,
Orenthal J Simpson


   Bucky

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Fish to Live, Live to Hunt


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/06/2013 at 16:47
 
" Dear Orenthal, 

" I am not a newlywed.  Better make a run down the freeway! "  









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Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: October/06/2013 at 17:56
Hahahaha.....Excellent

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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/06/2013 at 18:06




























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Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/06/2013 at 18:17
http://www.salon.com/2005/05/31/maimed_and_objectified/ - http://www.salon.com/2005/05/31/maimed_and_objectified/












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Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/06/2013 at 18:21

" Lose the weight, Lady, you look like a Moving Van! "   











" That ought to make her feel Normal!! "  









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Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: October/07/2013 at 11:02
Dear Ed,
Rumor has it you're a genie who can grant wishes. Is this true?

Wishin' in Witchita



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Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.


Posted By: Alan Robertson
Date Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:19


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"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"


Posted By: Alan Robertson
Date Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:21


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"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"


Posted By: BeltFed
Date Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:42
Dear Ed
The other night my wife gave me baked beans, black eyed peas, and sloppy joes for supper. Needless to say, I got a bad case of gas. I had to attend a funeral for a friend's brother and while viewing the body I had to relieve the pressure or die. Since I was the only one viewing the body at the time eased out the built up pressure. Just then a fat lady came up to view the body, and started sniffing the air. She said the funeral home didn't do a very good job of embalming the body and they needed more flowers. Should I have told the lady that it wasn't the body stinking up the place, or should I have told I was going to order a floral arrangement?
signed
Deadly Silent 


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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:44
Originally posted by RifleDude RifleDude wrote:

Dear Ed,
Rumor has it you're a genie who can grant wishes. Is this true?

Wishin' in Witchita




Dear Wish-ita, 
 

Not so!!  I wished that my thread would kill Critter Cookin' Café and look what happened! Smile

( Wishing for killing ATTENTION SPAMMERS next!! )  Bucky












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Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:47
Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

Dear Ed
The other night my wife gave me baked beans, black eyed peas, and sloppy joes for supper. Needless to say, I got a bad case of gas. I had to attend a funeral for a friend's brother and while viewing the body I had to relieve the pressure or die. Since I was the only one viewing the body at the time eased out the built up pressure. Just then a fat lady came up to view the body, and started sniffing the air. She said the funeral home didn't do a very good job of embalming the body and they needed more flowers. Should I have told the lady that it wasn't the body stinking up the place, or should I have told I was going to order a floral arrangement?
signed
Deadly Silent 


I don't know. I was in the parking lot across the street by the time the lady came up.   


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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/07/2013 at 13:07





              










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Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: October/07/2013 at 14:10
Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:

Originally posted by RifleDude RifleDude wrote:

Dear Ed,
Rumor has it you're a genie who can grant wishes. Is this true?

Wishin' in Witchita




Dear Wish-ita, 
 

Not so!!  I wished that my thread would kill Critter Cookin' Café and look what happened! Smile

( Wishing for killing ATTENTION SPAMMERS next!! )  Bucky



DAMMIT! You sure about that?
Cuz I REALLY wish I was Denver Broncos' Wide Receiver Eric Decker!

















-------------
Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/07/2013 at 16:08
 









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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: kolo
Date Posted: October/08/2013 at 15:11
Have you heard this?

Vladimir Putin allegedly said off the record:
"Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon. The pigeon knocks over all the pieces, craps on the board and then struts around like it won the game."
 
I can maybe see why O is saying he won't negotiate now - Putin must have made him cry....


Posted By: Peddler
Date Posted: October/08/2013 at 15:33
Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:





























I like looking at them also!

Yippee


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When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.

It is the same when you are stupid.


Posted By: bugsNbows
Date Posted: October/08/2013 at 16:22
Dear Ed,
Is it ok to tell a friend (that constantly whines every day about his aches and pains, marriage, kids, MIL, etc) to STFU?


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If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/08/2013 at 19:44
Big Grin

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Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: October/09/2013 at 06:01
WHeeeew!!!!  Thought you were goin to say politics there for a minute..... Mouth Taped Shut

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/09/2013 at 06:11
 






































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Posted By: BeltFed
Date Posted: October/09/2013 at 08:51
Dear Ed
I have this dear sweet friend (I worry about him a little) that listens to me when the stress of my aches and pains, or my wife gets to me, or my MIL gets to me, or anything else that is bothering me. He is such a good listener and has such good patients with, but when I'm finally done explaining my situation to him, he tells me to STFU.
Do you think he has something going on in his life that needs looking into by a good friend like Bigdaddy, or do you think that he really doesn't GAS?
signed
B.G. Whinner 


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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: October/09/2013 at 09:43
.
 
 
 
        I'd say    STOP TALKING TO YOUR DOG.................  Smile


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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: bugsNbows
Date Posted: October/09/2013 at 10:41
Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

Dear Ed
I have this dear sweet friend (I worry about him a little) that listens to me when the stress of my aches and pains, or my wife gets to me, or my MIL gets to me, or anything else that is bothering me. He is such a good listener and has such good patients with, but when I'm finally done explaining my situation to him, he tells me to STFU.
Do you think he has something going on in his life that needs looking into by a good friend like Bigdaddy, or do you think that he really doesn't GAS?
signed
B.G. Whinner 



LOL


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If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/09/2013 at 16:12


" Dear B.G., 

" Show the guy a picture of Obama throwing a baseball----and get out of the way!! "  






 


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Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/09/2013 at 16:15
 










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Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: October/09/2013 at 16:21
The dreaded corn field......What a creepy kid. 

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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: October/16/2013 at 15:26
Dear Ed,

Too much??



Signed,
Laffin in Little Rock


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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/16/2013 at 16:43
 

" I don't really care for the sign interrupting the landscape.  I would forget about telling the public about your neighbor and just put a skull and some bones in the grass around your garden. Put a black mask on the skull....They'll get the idea. "  


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Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: October/17/2013 at 09:51
Dear Ed...

I'm giving strong consideration to this offer. What do you think?




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Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/17/2013 at 09:58









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Posted By: 3_tens
Date Posted: October/17/2013 at 12:59
Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:

 

" I don't really care for the sign interrupting the landscape.  I would forget about telling the public about your neighbor and just put a skull and some bones in the grass around your garden. Put a black mask on the skull....They'll get the idea. "  
I tried this but the Police dug up and removed my garden.




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Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: October/17/2013 at 13:19
Need a new septic tank but Can't afford  to have it dug up? 
 
Call the cops and tell them your recently departed whatever told you they killed someone and hid the body in the septic tank.... Bucky


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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: 3_tens
Date Posted: October/17/2013 at 13:28
Big GrinBig GrinBig GrinBig Grin

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Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: October/17/2013 at 13:40


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Posted By: Alan Robertson
Date Posted: October/17/2013 at 20:32


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"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: October/31/2013 at 11:43
.
 
 
 Excellent  Excellent  Excellent


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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: December/07/2013 at 12:34
Dear Ed....



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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: December/07/2013 at 13:07

" Get Mandela on the phone and ask him if there is a God! "   









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Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: December/23/2013 at 09:24
Dear Ed,
Speaking of creepy people, these...folks all live on my street and scare the crap outta me! Do they scare you too?







Signed,
Nightmares in Niagara Falls



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Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.


Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: December/23/2013 at 09:37
Dear Ed,

Bigdaddy sent me this selfie...



Then, only a few hours later, Budperm sent me this selfie...



So my question is, do you think the odds are high that I can expect to receive a self photo from Peddler soon too?

Best regards,

Sekshall Harassee in Tallahassee



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Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: December/23/2013 at 11:07
Laugh    Darn you, you promised you wouldn't post that picture of me without my hair.... Wasnt Me

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: Peddler
Date Posted: December/23/2013 at 11:18
Ted, I think I just wet my pants.

Roll on Floor Laughing


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When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.

It is the same when you are stupid.


Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: December/23/2013 at 11:28
Hahaha.....Excellent

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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: December/23/2013 at 11:31
It's time for the all knowing, all seeing Ed to render his super keen insight to the aforementioned inquiries...


 


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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: December/23/2013 at 12:18
.
 
 
How long are you going to pontificate Oh Great One?  Bucky


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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: December/23/2013 at 13:17


I think something was lost in translation...


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Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: December/23/2013 at 17:34

" If I was Ted I would get out of town and move to Transylvania. "    














" As for those other freaks, I would notify the EPA and the Nuclear Regulatory Commission! "  









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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: January/27/2014 at 16:01
Dear Ed.

My son and daughter have offered to pay for a total make over for me, but I like the way I look. How can I graciously tell them "no"?
I don't want to hurt their feelings, ya know? 

Signed,
Chitown Chick Magnet  



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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: bugsNbows
Date Posted: January/27/2014 at 16:22
Dear Ed, please tell Mark to man up ...... and drink MORE!!! Big Grin


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If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: January/27/2014 at 16:51
That and he needs to stop sucking on that stogie before his face implodes...

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: January/27/2014 at 17:04
There's more to Ed than meets the eye… (thank goodness)...

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Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: January/27/2014 at 18:39

 Tell your relatives that you have met your soul mate and that you two are inviting them to come along with you on your First Date to Home Depot.  That ought to shut them up.  






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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: 3_tens
Date Posted: January/27/2014 at 20:07
Bucky

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Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: February/02/2014 at 07:03
Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:


 Tell your relatives that you have met your soul mate and that you two are inviting them to come along with you on your First Date to Home Depot.  That ought to shut them up.  




.
 
 
So that worked for you did it?!?!?


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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: June/15/2014 at 11:58
Dear Ed:

I have some kids that keep hanging around my house and INSIST that I let them come inside my home and use the phone. I tell them NO, but they insist. Don't most kids have their own cell phones these days?? 
Do these youngsters seem OK to you? I hate to keep telling them to go away, but they keep coming back to my house...but those black eyes!! Kinda creepy. 

 

  


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If at first you don't secede...try..try again.


Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: June/15/2014 at 15:50
Dear Ed:
I read a recent letter about a gent who had problems with creepy black-eyed kids repeatedly wanting to borrow his phone. That reminds me, I have a similar problem.

Some folks just moved into the neighborhood who are obviously farmers of some kind 'cause they grow a helluva lot of corn, and they also must be Mormons, 'cause they gotta helluva large brood of rug rats. Anyway, these dang-gum kids keep coming over, banging on the door (interrupting me and the old lady's special fun time with power tools and cutlery, if ya know what I'm sayin'Wink), asking if they can borrow my scythe. I ain't got a scythe.

So, my question is, what's the deal with kids these days and borrowing? And, what the hell is a scythe?



Signed,
Cornus interrupt-us


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Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.


Posted By: Voodoo6
Date Posted: June/15/2014 at 16:47
Heck, getting a kid to take out the trash now is near impossible. Looks like little go-getters you got there. 
  


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"A prisoner of the white lines on the freeway"


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: June/15/2014 at 17:20

Tell these kids that Spring Break is over and that it's time that they reported back to their respective universities to finish their Diversity Studies Degree.  








Don't let 'em in....stick the scythe up this kid's jet pack!   







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Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: June/17/2014 at 20:01
Dear Ed:

I keep hearing kids talk about "hash tags" all the time. I thought demand for that stuff kinda fizzled shortly after Woodstock.

Are bell-bottom jeans gonna make a comeback too?

Signed,
Perplexed and undersexed in Tex



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Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: June/17/2014 at 20:07
I'm in favor of Bell-Bottomed cut-offs for gals!!!   Bucky















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Posted By: bugsNbows
Date Posted: January/29/2015 at 15:28
Dear Ed,
Why am I such an idiot and why do my "friends" avoid me? I don't fart much and my breath ain't nasty! Loco


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If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: January/29/2015 at 19:21

" Shave your back!! "   












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Posted By: BeltFed
Date Posted: January/30/2015 at 06:54
Dear Ed
Will hotpants ever make a comeback?
Sincerely
Larry Longfinger


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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.


Posted By: bugsNbows
Date Posted: January/30/2015 at 09:38
Larry, is it true you can breathe through your ears?


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If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous


Posted By: BeltFed
Date Posted: January/30/2015 at 09:57
She believes soCool


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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: January/30/2015 at 11:06
Yeah and she also paid alot for that muffler.....

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: January/03/2017 at 11:30
Happy New Year, Eduardo!!!  Howdy  Howdy  Howdy

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: January/03/2017 at 13:38
Image result








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Posted By: SD Dog
Date Posted: January/03/2017 at 23:07
Still looking good as ever Ed.

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If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: January/04/2017 at 04:31

Dear Ed,

 I have an AR, or two.  How can I fix this?  Is there any help for me???

Lost




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Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: budperm
Date Posted: January/04/2017 at 12:04
Take two AK-47s and call him in the morning....

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"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson





Posted By: 3_tens
Date Posted: January/04/2017 at 13:41
Now that's funny.  Excellent


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Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: January/04/2017 at 20:16
Originally posted by Kickboxer Kickboxer wrote:

Dear Ed,

 I have an AR, or two.  How can I fix this?  Is there any help for me???

Lost




Image result for don rickles gif

" Get some black rubber underpants and swim fins! " 










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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: Alan Robertson
Date Posted: February/21/2018 at 20:29
Dear Ed,
   My wife asked me that if she died and I got remarried, would I give her car to my new wife?
I told her, "No, she's got a Mercedes convertible".
Now, I'm in a jam.
What can I do?


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"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: February/21/2018 at 20:43
Image result for typing on a typewriter

" Tell her that you were eating peyote and thought she wanted a new convertible..." 







Related image









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Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: February/21/2018 at 20:45
Image result for don rickles

" ....then go down to the bank and crawl..." 









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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: February/22/2018 at 03:36
Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:

Image result for typing on a typewriter

" Tell her that you were eating peyote and thought she wanted a new convertible..." 







Related image







I've read that book... "Die Lehren des Don Juan" Carlos Castaneda



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Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: February/22/2018 at 04:50
yes...Carlos Casta-Frauda.....

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Visit the Ed Show


Posted By: Alan Robertson
Date Posted: February/23/2018 at 15:52
Dear Ed,
     Thanks for the advice, but I don't think it helped much.
You see, I was driving home tonight and saw my Mother in law in the driveway and it looked like she was holding a family size jar of Vicks Vaporub in one hand and a creosote fence post in the other.
I don't think she saw me before I detoured right quick down the alley behind Billy Bob's place.
I ain't goin' home while she's there, what can I do?


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"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"


Posted By: bugsNbows
Date Posted: February/23/2018 at 16:53
Go get drunk! Tell Billy Bob Skip (Peddler) says hello.

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If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous


Posted By: Peddler
Date Posted: February/23/2018 at 17:15
Huh? 🥃

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When you are dead, you don't know you are dead.It is difficult only for others.

It is the same when you are stupid.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: February/23/2018 at 17:48
(...just in case....try to get that Vicks out of her hand and exchange it with Vaseline!! ) Shocked






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Posted By: Alan Robertson
Date Posted: March/13/2018 at 11:52
Dear Ed,
We were having a family dinner and my Mother- in- law kept going on and on about how much she likes her new broom. I couldn't help but ask her what kind of mileage she got and now I'm in real trouble.
What can I do?


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"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"


Posted By: BeltFed
Date Posted: March/13/2018 at 12:04
Ed, I don't know if this will help Alan, but Gina at Knob Creek Range gives broom driving lessons by appointment. You might recommend that if you think it's needed, but I yield to the experts.


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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: March/13/2018 at 13:17
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" Get her something from Fredrick's of Hollywood! " 





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Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: March/13/2018 at 13:19
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"....and a DVD of TOP GUN!








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Posted By: Alan Robertson
Date Posted: March/23/2018 at 11:20
Dear Ed,
    I was playin' .45 golf on the North forty the other day and made one o' them perfect shots, which sailed that ball clean outa sight and over the hedge row next to the road that runs back to Fortis and Mabel's place.
     Wouldn't you know it, Mabel was drivin' into town on her bi-weekly grocery shoppin' spree and that dadburn golf ball lodged smack dab in the middle of her windshield.
     Now me and Fortis is real good pals and we worked out a deal where I'll replace the windshield with the one out o' that '69 Ford I've had parked down at the crick for awhile and throw in the rest of the car so it'll be handier for Fortis to come and get spare parts, just as soon as I cut that tree growin' through the floorboard and out the back window.
Ok, those trees.
    Now things is fine with me and Fortis, but Mabel is friends with my mother-in- law and that... anyhow, she talked Mabel into not buyin' extra bread down at the day- old bread store and droppin' it off for my wife, just to jam me up with the ol' lady.

Now, I really am in big trouble.
What can i do?


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"Garg'n uair dhuisgear"


Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: March/23/2018 at 13:07
Tell your wife that you're constipated and probably should lay off the bread for awhile......


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Posted By: Son of Ed
Date Posted: April/01/2018 at 05:59







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Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: September/04/2019 at 20:05
Dear Ed,
 You were going to read the novella "The Marching Morons" so we could have an intellectual discussion on science fiction as a predictor of "the future" (now current times).  Are you so old you forgot... or did you forget how to read???

Still Waiting In Alabama...


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Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living



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