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Tiger jokes

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scooter65 View Drop Down
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    Posted: December/02/2009 at 13:40
Tiger made a poor choice. He should have used a driver.
 
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
 
What is the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
 
I hear Tiger’s wife has improved his game. She made him a true scratch golfer.
 
How can Tiger Woods be the best golfer? He couldn’t even avoid a water hazard that was right in front of him
 
What were Tiger and his wife doing out at 2.30am? They went clubbing.
 
I find it’s a nightmare driving at 2.30am: sometimes you can’t see the Woods for the trees.
 
Tigers been dropped by Gillette after admitting his crash was the closest shave he ever had. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Average Joe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/02/2009 at 14:58
I'm classic shag nasty type.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Urimaginaryfrnd Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/02/2009 at 23:22

Just another case of -- whitey keepin the black man down -- Now she gonna take all his money and write a book - "Tiger plays 18 Holes".  

Probably all her fault for not putting out, white girls are like that once they get married - who knew.  Now if he had married a sister like Michelle Obama that girl looks like she could knock that skinny Barack down and just have her way with him.
 
Come on now a little less Steve Urkel and a little more Eddie Murphy please.


Edited by Urimaginaryfrnd - December/02/2009 at 23:31

"Always do the right thing, just because it is the right thing to do".
Bobby Paul Doherty
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scooter65 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote scooter65 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/03/2009 at 06:43
Originally posted by Urimaginaryfrnd Urimaginaryfrnd wrote:

Just another case of -- whitey keepin the black man down -- Now she gonna take all his money and write a book - "Tiger plays 18 Holes".  

Probably all her fault for not putting out, white girls are like that once they get married - who knew.  Now if he had married a sister like Michelle Obama that girl looks like she could knock that skinny Barack down and just have her way with him.
 
Come on now a little less Steve Urkel and a little more Eddie Murphy please.
 
Can't wait for the movie.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TexasPhotog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/08/2009 at 11:27
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pyro6999 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/08/2009 at 14:29
tiger hit a tree and 4 chicks fell out of it, maybe he should have used a driver.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bigdaddy0381 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/08/2009 at 14:47
Bitchinwedge is his wife new club.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SD Dog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/10/2009 at 10:26
http://www.break.com/games/tiger-woods-wife-outrun.html

New tiger game out.  Does not require X-box or Play Station.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bigdaddy0381 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/10/2009 at 10:39
so do you think Tiger has played a full 18 holes?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SD Dog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/15/2009 at 10:38
Fox News and CNN have reported that Elin Nordegren moved to the top of the money list on the PGA Tour yesterday after 'beating' the world's number one golfer. The news came after the world's number one golfer inadvertently played the wrong hole...”
If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bugsNbows Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/15/2009 at 11:35
SD Dog...now that's funny. On a side note, didn't the race pimp (Al Sharpton) have some interesting comments on this situation... something about there being no black women in Tiger's affairs? Very weird.
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SD Dog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/15/2009 at 11:45
I had not heard Al had said anything, but try not to listen to anything he says either.
If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chris Farris II Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/15/2009 at 12:37
The differnce between Santa Claus and Tiger woods? Santa stopped at 3 ho's...
 
HO HO HO Merry Christmas... 
One day your life will flash before your eyes; Make sure it's worth watching.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Preston Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/16/2009 at 16:02

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

 

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today.."

 

Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

 

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

 

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

 

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

 

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

 

Teacher:"Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

 

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

 

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

 

Johnny is even madder than before.

 

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

 

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

 

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

 

Johnny is boiling mad that he's not been able to answer to any of the questions.

 

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these b###hes would keep their mouths shut!"

 

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

 

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"

"I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children can live in peace."
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